Is it really that bad?

Before I started my housemanship, I heard numerous stories of how life is once you start working as a HO. Those stories almost made me feel nervous about starting the new life, but I thought I'd seek for an advice from the optimists. I asked one of my friend who is now a paediatrician in the making, he said that as long as you know how to manage your time, you can always go back early and have dinner with your family. He also said that you will learn a lot during housemanship, and he was right! Indeed, I learnt so much!!!

But of course, there are times when you feel exhausted and you have silly thoughts such as "why did I choose this field?"... I can't deny it, I did feel down a few times. What's important is that when you have those kind of thoughts, you have to shut it away straight away. But now alhamdulillah, I stopped having silly thoughts because I have settled down in my job and I got the hang of how to do my work properly. To me, in life, it's all about perceptions. You choose your thoughts and emotions. There are many times when you have to make a decision about how to react.

1. If I am being bossed around by the person above me, eg. they ask me to do all kinds of things, I can either feel depressed about being victimized or I make the best out the situation. What I usually do is that I turn it into a good experience for me to face. Although it is not my responsibility, I consider myself lucky for being chosen to do it. And also, I feel good about myself because my boss actually trusts me that he/she passed the job over to me.

2. Being a new houseman, I was told off quite a few times and most of the time, in front of the patients! I can choose whether I want to cry during the rounds, get all sensitive about the whole thing and make it personal or... I just consider their 'scolding' as a feedback so that I wont repeat the same mistake again. Actually, if you look at it, it is better for the specialist to tell you off because it shows that they actually care about you rather than them ignoring you. It hurts even more.

My dad keeps reminding me that everything that happens in your life shapes you. So I am the way I am because of what I went through for the past years, so it's the same with my job, whatever I do and experience will shape me. The more cases I clerk and manage, the more knowledge and experience I will gain. So why grumble when I end up doing other people's job, right?

... and this is how and why I find housemanship interesting and really enjoyable. Paradox?... I know. It all depends on how you want to perceive the experience. Ok, have to go off to sleep. I am on call again tomorrow. And I will get my weekend off for Tiyah's wedding reception.